Friday, 27 August 2010

Thursday, 26 August 2010

Emergency Shakespeare!

The Alternative Village Fete takes place at the South Bank on Saturday 28th and Sunday 29th as part of the National Theatre's Watch This Space programme. It's organised by the brilliantly creative Home Live Art and it's free.

One of the things I'm most looking forward to is Theatre 1623's Emergency Shakespeare! which presents four scenes from Shakespeare with an intriguing twist: with the aid of St John Ambulance, they intervene to save the characters involved.

Each scene lasts about twenty minutes as Ophelia is dragged out of the Thames, Othello's epilepsy receives expert attention, Leontes gets some help for his panic attack and the tomb scene from Romeo and Juliet becomes a multiple emergency scenario. It sounds fantastic.

Monday, 23 August 2010

Bushgreen Royalties

The Bush Theatre, one of the leading theatres for new writing in London, has established a website called Bushgreen, where writers can publish their plays online and interact with each other and with other members of the theatre community.

I have just received my first royalty payment from the site for one of my short plays which I have published online there. It would be vulgar of me to reveal how much I earned. Let's just say that I now have enough funds in my account that I don't have to worry about where the next tin of dog food is coming from.

Thanks to everyone who has downloaded and read my play, and thanks to Bushgreen for the opportunity to publish it.

Sunday, 22 August 2010

Advice for Modern Women Part 1

The first in a series of occasional posts containing advice for readers using hypothetial situations based on the author's experiences:

Q) It's the day of my daughter's birthday party. The family have gathered, the chicken has been marinaded, my three nephews have helped me make a cheese cake, the birthday cake has been iced with clementine frosting. Unfortunately, about 15 minutes before I was due to leave the house to go to the party, my elderly dog had a prolonged and distressing seizure that left her unable to walk, stand or even hold her head up. I had no choice but to miss the first few hours of the party while waiting to see whether she would recover. As I sat grizzling in the garden while she made occasional pathetic attempts to stand before collapsing again into my lap, even my parents (who were staying with me) said it was time for her to go to 'dog heaven'. However, as I reached for the phone to call the vet to come round and despatch the poor creature, she finally managed to stand up. Over the next few hours her condition improved significantly - she even ate her dinner with something like her normal enthusiasm - and so I will not have to make my entrance at the party with the words 'I have just killed the dog'. I'm in the mood to celebrate. Should I cut my fringe with a pair of kitchen scissors before heading over to the party?

A) No.

Tuesday, 17 August 2010

London Review of Books

This morning, while I was tapping out a contribution to one of's many online forums (instead of writing a novel, which is what I'm supposed to be doing), Jessie marked her displeasure by doing two shits on the kitchen floor.

Unfortunately I had run out of nappy sacks, and with nothing else to hand (next week's issue of The Radio Times with Simon Cowell on the cover was not to drop through my letterbox for another fifteen minutes or so) I had to use a page from the March issue of The London Review of Books to gather up these 'arse gifts'. This made me feel eccentric, literary and sad - sad because, of course, Jessie has only started to use my kitchen floor as a toilet since becoming old, sick and confused.

Should you ever find yourself in a similar situation, however, I'm happy to report that the good quality paper stock used by The London Review of Books is robust and 'fit for purpose'.

From the photo, it appears that I grabbed pg 43/44: Five Poems by G√ľnter Eich, translated by Michael Hofmann - no reflection on the talents of either man; I'm a poetry-lover myself. Close inspection reveals that the page includes a poem aptly entitled 'End of August'. It was very good, as I remember.

Monday, 16 August 2010

Let's chase each other through cyberspace

How exciting to see that my 'public followers' in the box on the right hand side here are up to 99 100. I know that many more of you subscribe in a reader or by email, or just drop in privately. It's always wonderful to see you, you know that.

If you want to join the blog's followers so that I can see your face each time I log in to the site, please click the button in the box. If you have a blog, naturally I will follow you back.

If you don't feel that brings us close enough, you can always find me on Twitter.

Let's chase each other through cyberspace.

Monday, 9 August 2010

Bad Girls by Rebecca Chance

Bad Girls by Rebecca Chance was published on Thursday. I know Rebecca and she warned that the book is 'very filthy and racy' so I have ordered a copy.

It's available for the kindle. The paperback is in Waterstones, Amazon, The Book Depository and all the usual places.

It's currently no. 3 in the bestseller list at W H Smith. Very exciting.

Amazon UK Kindle Store

My books are now in Amazon's UK Kindle store priced at £2.99 inc. VAT. If you live anywhere other than the UK you can buy them in the US Kindle store for $4.99.

You can also buy epub and kindle editions of Alison Wonderland and Being Light direct from Tyger Books. Use the code 'tyger' to buy the books for £2.99 or $4.99.

Discounted epub versions of the books are also available at The Book Depository.

Saturday, 7 August 2010

London Bus Rebuke Fail

Drama on the no. 37 bus in Peckham, London. Thanks to James Martin Charlton for the link.

Watching the video, it's difficult to understand what provoked it but according to 'Know your meme':
The situation: A black woman is overheard complaining about the bus, to which a young white male suggests she get off it if she is so displeased with the service. The woman then replies with “You’re saying that because I’m black” which enrages the man. Some onlookers film the expletive filled tirade where the man casually walks through a glass door, and walks away from the scene being dubbed “the Peckham Terminator”.
Watch out for 'Fuck OFF, Alison Moyet' at approx 41 seconds in. Lots of swearing. Not safe for work. Twelve second remix here if you'd prefer the short version.