But for the rest of you, here's what has happened:
I got commissioned to write a short playCould it work for you? I have no idea. I'm afraid we have to consider the possibility that the location of the doormat is in some way enhancing the power of the coin under it. So if you really want to maximise the return on your money, all you have to do is send it to this address and I will put it under the mat for you. Remember, the larger the note, the greater the fortune, although we'll have to put a ceiling on it so as not to anger the gods. Anything up to £50 per reader should be OK.
My daughter got engaged to be married
I sold 150 digital copies of my book, Alison Wonderland
I was offered a new calling plan by BT so that I can ring friends and family abroad at cheaper rates