Thursday, 11 October 2007

Dog Shit Epic

I've decided to write an epic poem, based on my own life. The problem with that is that I rarely leave the house and certainly never do anything heroic along the lines of fighting dragons. Sure, someone just turned me into a Werewolf on Facebook. I don't think that counts, do you?

So, what to write about? Well, there is one inexhaustible subject that is a constant source of inspiration to me when writing poetry. Regular readers of this blog will know what that is. Yes, Wordsworth may have had his daffodils but, as discussed elsewhere on this blog, I have never been to the Lake District. You know what they say - you have to write about what you know:

Dog Shit Epic - Part One
A treasure hunt in the garden
Yielded the usual prize;
Three of Jessie’s confections,
Roughly consistent in size.
They were soft to the touch when collected,
Though the coldness was quite a surprise;
I’d have thought that the late autumn sunshine
Might have warmed up those three little piles.
Though not a topic that’s epic in subject, at least
(as you will have surmised)
The activity keeps you quite agile and
trains you to open your eyes.

Alright, I know what you're going to say. It's neither epic nor, indeed, much of a poem. Poetry-writing is intrinsically funny to me but maybe it is not to you. Maybe this doggerel (ha! there's a joke in there...) offends you in some way. I'm sorry. I've only done it as a distraction from writing this play which is proving to be extremely aggravating. I MUST finish it. Once I've finished it, I won't have to do it any more, will I? That's the way to look at it.

If only dogs could be trained to eat dictionaries instead of Pedigree Chum, and shit out plays. Never mind. Onwards...

No comments: